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Blake's Story

I used to wonder if heaven and hell were real.

And if so, can transgender people go to heaven?

Or could I go to hell, for not accepting the body that I was given?

My life started out pretty typical for a little girl. I was taught that I was supposed to love pink, barbies and ponies. I felt uncomfortable wearing skirts and dresses.  

I always felt weird.

I never wanted to play with the other little girls at school but I was too shy to ask to play with the boys. I knew that ‘girls can’t play boy games’.

I thought I was just bad at being a girl.

As I grew into my tweens, I realised I don’t actually like any of the things I’d been taught to like. I had been manipulated by others and myself.  

I felt guilty that someone as privileged and healthy as I could feel so wrong in their own body.

I was isolated and so alone until I stumbled upon gender identity and sexuality videos online.

I finally understood why I felt so wrong my entire life. I wished I could go back in time and tell my younger self why I felt so strange.

I am actually a boy.

I came out to my family and while some people accepted me, it wasn’t so easy for others. I fell into depression and suicidal thoughts dealing with it, but I eventually came out the other side.

Nowadays I’m as masculine as I could be. My father accepts me, my mother accepts me, and I accept me. I should be going on testosterone later this year!

Although I missed my childhood as a little boy, I still have the rest of my life to be a man. And that’s as much heaven as I could ever want.

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